10 slight differences between paranoia and writing

by March 22, 2013
2 minutes read
Photo by Ralph Unden
Photo by Ralph Unden

You frequently mutter to yourself. Slam fists on the keys. Wish you smoked cigarettes so you’d have something else to do with your hands.

You know you’re not quite “normal.”

But how crazy are you?

Just use this little quiz to determine whether you are actually paranoid – or simply a writer (which might be worse).

You suspect a car is following you, but then it turns away. You are relieved. Paranoid

You suspect a car is following you, but then it turns away. You are disappointed. Writer

 

You believe your house is bugged because you have the feeling someone is watching you. Paranoid

You believe your house is bugged because movies and TV shows keep stealing your ideas. Writer

 

You’re afraid you’ll be kidnapped by government agents because they know you’re on to them. Paranoia

You’re afraid you’ll be kidnapped by government agents because of your Google search history. Writer

 

You have a plan for going off the grid. Paranoid

You fantasize about the new identity you’d take on if you had to go off the grid. Writer

 

You can think of lots of reasons someone would kill you. Paranoid

You can think of lots of ways someone would kill you. Writer

 

You think everyone is trying to kill you. Paranoid

You think your characters are trying to kill you. Writer

 

You think various organizations are trying to take over the world. Paranoid

You think of various ways you could take over the world. Writer

 

You see danger everywhere. Paranoid

You see grammatical errors everywhere. Writer

 

You think conspiracy theories are true. Paranoid

You think conspiracy theories are writing prompts. Writer

 

Other people think you’re crazy. Paranoia

You think you’re crazy. Writer

Stephanie is an award-winning copywriter, aspiring novelist, and barely passable ukulele player. Here, she offers writing prompts, tips, and moderate-to-deep philosophical discussions. You can also find her on and Pinterest.

31 Comments on “10 slight differences between paranoia and writing

  1. This is fantastic! 😀

    I particularly like:
    “You see danger everywhere. Paranoid
    You see grammatical errors everywhere. Writer”
    …Aren’t these things one and the same? 😉

  2. Hmm… 2 “paranoids” 6 “writers” and two ties.
    The ties are: “You see danger everywhere. Paranoid, You see grammatical errors everywhere. Writer”
    and, of course: “Other people think you’re crazy. Paranoia, You think you’re crazy. Writer”
    Who, in their right mind, DOESN’T think they are crazy?

    1. Bumper stickers:

      “I am a schizophrenic writer and so am I.”

      “The paranoid writers are out to get me.”

      “I am a paranoid schizophrenic writer and I am out to get me.”

      ” I am a ‘normal’ writer, which means I am probably delusional.”

      1. Omigosh; my favorite one is “I am a paranoid schizophrenic writer and I am out to get me.” Genius!

        1. Life is terminal, so we might as well write. There are people from every profession who would like to write. Most writers would probably not want to be anything but writers. Besides, if we were something else, we might have to function in the world of reality. Now that is scary!

          1. So scary. ; )
            And IMHO, “Life is terminal, so we might as well write.” ought to be on a bumper sticker, too.

  3. Pingback: Facebook Paranoia | seventhvoice
  4. This post is absolutely hilarious and soo true! I haven’t laughed this hard in ages, so thanks!

  5. to the point. i love it. it makes clear that fine line between being crazy and being crazier. thanks for the information.

  6. “Are you crazy?”
    “No, I’m a writer. Not that there’s much difference, really.”
    I laughed the whole way through this post because they’re so true. Particularly the bit about being kidnapped by government agents. My search history is…. …. …concerning.

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