Inspiration Monday: the gunman is useless

RLW chose Hitchhikers, which was fortunate, because our second winner, Chris of ChrisWhiteWrites already had it! RLW, I shipped yours last Saturday and Chris, I’ll ship Podkayne this Saturday. Everyone; be sure to pop over to Voice Week once more, as there were a few late submissions that are well worth the read. : )

In other news, the Rangers just won Game 2 of the ALCS in a walk off grand slam!!! Eleventh inning! Heck yes!!! (Sorry to any Detroit fans–y’all played a great game.)

Now, at last, after three weeks, back to InMon!

Janece

Scribbla

Otakufool

Kay

Craig

Mike

Barb

Lynnette

WritingSprint

LoveTheBadGuy

Eric

TheWriteProject

The Rules

There are none. Read the prompts, get inspired, write something. No word count minimum or maximum. You don’t have to include the exact prompt in your piece, and you can interpret the prompt(s) any way you like.

OR

No really; I need rules!

Okay; write 200-500 words on the prompt of your choice. You may either use the prompt as the title of your piece or work it into the body of your piece. You must complete it before 6 pm CST on the Monday following this post.

The Prompts:

The gunman is useless*
Waking up was worse
Collecting men
One size fits none
No tomorrow

Want to share your Inspiration Monday piece? Post it on your blog and link back to today’s post; I’ll include a link to your piece in the next Inspiration Monday post. No blog? Email your piece to me at bekindrewrite (at) yahoo (dot) com.

Plus, get the InMon badge for your site here.

Happy writing!

*Today’s first prompt comes to you from Markus Zusak’s I Am the Messenger, which I have just finished reading. Rather more adult than The Book Thief, but quite worth reading, owning, and learning from.

Show, don’t tell: what it means and how to do it

 

CC Image by Scott Ogle

CC Image by Scott Ogle

It’s the first rule of writing. We hear it all the time. In fact, it’s almost all we hear. Over and over again, they tell us…

Show, don’t tell.

Show; don’t tell.

Show! Don’t tell!

In the name of all that’s good, what the heck does that mean???

Well, it’s kind of complicated. And it’s kind of hard to put your finger on it. And it’s kind of going to take more than one blog post. But let’s start with something simple.

Description!

Remember how we had so much fun guessing who the voices in Voice Week were, and where they came from and why they did the things they did?

We were able to do that because the writers were showing. Show Don’t Tell really means “don’t say it; convey it.” Separate facts from opinion, and then tell the facts in a way that guides your readers to the right opinion. In other words; don’t tell your readers the princess is beautiful; describe her in such a way that your readers say she’s beautiful.

Here’s an example:

She had long blonde hair and green eyes. She was beautiful.

Meh. Laundry list followed by the writer telling me what to think. Here’s a version that shows:

Her golden hair flowed all the way to her waist, and her eyes flashed, green as emeralds.

Cliché, I know, but the point remains: I never used the word beautiful; I didn’t have to. Words like golden, flowed, and emeralds show us she’s beautiful.

Now let’s step it up and try to cut out the cliché. Another way to show is to write the reactions of other people. Show the reader how the princess makes the knight feel. Not like this:

She made him feel nervous.

Or even this

He grew self-conscious under her gaze.

That’s telling your reader he’s nervous and self-conscious. Instead, give the reader clues and let them figure it out:

When she turned her head, her hair rippled, like wheat when the wind sweeps across it. When her green gaze fell on him, he forgot to breathe. When she smiled, his knees nearly gave out. And when she asked his name, his tongue stumbled all over his teeth to reply.

See how we used his physical reactions to show just how beautiful she is, without ever using the word? We also know the color of her hair without saying it.

We can even take the same laundry list (long blonde hair, green eyes) and twist it around completely:

Her hair, which stuck out in every direction, was lifeless and stiff, and exactly the same color as dead grass. He could imagine grabbing a handful and hearing a crunching sound. She felt his stare and glared back, but her eyes were lifeless as well, dull as a faded tapestry.

Ultimately, telling is just giving your readers knowledge. Showing is helping your reader see and hear and feel what’s happening. It’s the difference between being told the princess is beautiful, and believing the princess is beautiful.

Read more about Show, Don’t Tell:

Getting rid of background exposition (part 1)

Getting rid of background exposition (part 2)

Character sketches: telling to show

Character development

man without mouth

Show, don’t tell: What it means and how to do it

Voice Week 2011: Friday

Ah…the end of an incredible week. The project turned out better than I possibly could have expected. I think we’ve all learned a lot, had a lot of fun–and written some amazing stuff.

And as I write this now, there are still a few un-posted pieces to look forward to! Keep reading up on everyone’s fantastic work here. And tune in Monday for a recap of the entire week–plus the drawing (announcement) of our first prize winner!

 

I struggled for a bit with this one, but finally got into it when I decided it should be a first-day-of-school homework assignment.

See what you think:

What did you do this summer?

This summer I tried one of mommy’s drinks. I wanted to see what it tasted like because she drinks it all the time and I thought it would be o.k. if I had just a taste but she was mad. It tasted bad. Worse than medicine. It burnt my throat and I felt sick. I asked her why she drank that bad stuff. Then she threw it and it hit the wall and almost hit me but I moved. Sometimes it scares me when she gets mad, but it’s o.k. because when she’s done being mad she’s nice and sometimes we go out for Snickers bars.

From the prompt “alcoholic mother.” Read the other versions: Day 1Day 2Day 3Day 4

Who does the character feel like to you? How old, what gender? Where did you think the voice was strong or weak? Let me know!

Voice Week 2011: Thursday

Voice Week is almost over! I can hardly wait to read the genius work tomorrow, but it’ll be sad to see it end!

I decided to travel back in time for today’s piece.

If the woman had a single flaw, her flaw was weakness; weakness for the caresses of wandering sirs who were more knave than knight, and weakness for spirits when they left her for their more elegant wives. With tender, purplish splotches here and there on her once-lovely face, she would sit hunched over the bottle, her feet spread wide beneath her skirt, abandoning the feminine charms with which she so often veiled her pain. My father very likely had noble blood, but I cannot imagine he had a noble heart to match it.

From the prompt “alcoholic mother.” Read the other versions: Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 5

 

Who does the character feel like to you? How old, what gender? Where did you think the voice was strong or weak? Let me know!

Voice Week 2011: Wednesday

This is turning into quite a fascinating project – both into how what is written effects the reader’s perceptions of character, and how the reader’s own pre-existing bias figures in.

I tried a different angle with today’s piece:

When they ask, I tell them that my mother taught me everything I know. I say she taught me to love books by reading to me every night. I say she taught me to love music by singing me songs as she drove me to school. I say she taught me how to be a lady by never raising her voice, by never speaking a crass word, by never drinking more than half a glass of wine. But really, all she taught me was how to lie.

From the prompt “alcoholic mother.” Read the other versions: Day 1Day 2Day 4Day 5

Who does the character feel like to you? How old, what gender? Where did you think the voice was strong or weak? Let me know!