Show, don’t tell: what it means and how to do it

 

CC Image by Scott Ogle

CC Image by Scott Ogle

It’s the first rule of writing. We hear it all the time. In fact, it’s almost all we hear. Over and over again, they tell us…

Show, don’t tell.

Show; don’t tell.

Show! Don’t tell!

In the name of all that’s good, what the heck does that mean???

Well, it’s kind of complicated. And it’s kind of hard to put your finger on it. And it’s kind of going to take more than one blog post. But let’s start with something simple.

Description!

Remember how we had so much fun guessing who the voices in Voice Week were, and where they came from and why they did the things they did?

We were able to do that because the writers were showing. Show Don’t Tell really means “don’t say it; convey it.” Separate facts from opinion, and then tell the facts in a way that guides your readers to the right opinion. In other words; don’t tell your readers the princess is beautiful; describe her in such a way that your readers say she’s beautiful.

Here’s an example:

She had long blonde hair and green eyes. She was beautiful.

Meh. Laundry list followed by the writer telling me what to think. Here’s a version that shows:

Her golden hair flowed all the way to her waist, and her eyes flashed, green as emeralds.

Cliché, I know, but the point remains: I never used the word beautiful; I didn’t have to. Words like golden, flowed, and emeralds show us she’s beautiful.

Now let’s step it up and try to cut out the cliché. Another way to show is to write the reactions of other people. Show the reader how the princess makes the knight feel. Not like this:

She made him feel nervous.

Or even this

He grew self-conscious under her gaze.

That’s telling your reader he’s nervous and self-conscious. Instead, give the reader clues and let them figure it out:

When she turned her head, her hair rippled, like wheat when the wind sweeps across it. When her green gaze fell on him, he forgot to breathe. When she smiled, his knees nearly gave out. And when she asked his name, his tongue stumbled all over his teeth to reply.

See how we used his physical reactions to show just how beautiful she is, without ever using the word? We also know the color of her hair without saying it.

We can even take the same laundry list (long blonde hair, green eyes) and twist it around completely:

Her hair, which stuck out in every direction, was lifeless and stiff, and exactly the same color as dead grass. He could imagine grabbing a handful and hearing a crunching sound. She felt his stare and glared back, but her eyes were lifeless as well, dull as a faded tapestry.

Ultimately, telling is just giving your readers knowledge. Showing is helping your reader see and hear and feel what’s happening. It’s the difference between being told the princess is beautiful, and believing the princess is beautiful.

Read more about Show, Don’t Tell:

Getting rid of background exposition (part 1)

Getting rid of background exposition (part 2)

Character sketches: telling to show

Character development

man without mouth

Show, don’t tell: What it means and how to do it

Voice Week: why it totally rocked

You guys are awesome.

I don’t think I’ve ever read such a wide variety of such high quality work that fascinated and thrilled me as much as the work the Voice Writers did last week. We heard the voices of animals, trees, supernatural beings, a park bench, and dozens of unique humans. We watched a bride prepare for her wedding, and a man on death row prepare for his execution. We questioned and pondered and loved and hated—and learned.

Here’s a few of the cool things that came out of it / that I learned:

Everyone interpreted the project a little differently. The variety of ways people’s pieces fit together made the project fascinating—some used different viewpoints to progressively tell more of the same story or more about the same character, some showed how different personalities would react to the same situation, some were linked only by prompt or by setting and showed the subtle contrasts between personalities. It made me glad I wasn’t too specific about what I thought I wanted for this project–it allowed the participants to be much more brilliant than narrower parameters would have allowed–creative minds need structure, yes, but they also need the freedom to be unique; that’s the same reason Inspiration Monday works as well as it does. (InMon is returning one week from today, by the way!)

He said, she said. Many pieces throughout the week had us guessing whether the narrator was male or female. We inferred gender by deciphering situation and analyzing word choice, and simply by how the character struck us. Sometimes we were right, sometimes wrong. A bit of a debate started over my first piece; in the comments, “female” currently leads the vote eight to three—and the majority is correct! With that in mind, here are some things to consider:

  1. Keeping the main character’s gender vague can be interesting, even profitable in a short story where gender doesn’t matter; readers of either gender can easily place themselves in the head of the narrator.
  2. Keeping the gender of a main character vague for too long, however—such as several paragraphs into a full-length novel—can also throw a reader off if they guessed wrong to begin with.

We can use bias to fight bias. I found myself relating to characters I normally wouldn’t like. I found myself disliking characters I’d normally relate to. I was irritated by the responsible bookstore manager, but I loved the nonchalant killer. I formed opinions, read others’ comments, read the rest of the week’s pieces—and second-guessed myself. I stopped to think about why I felt certain things toward certain characters—and whether that was justified by truth or clouded by bias. A well-crafted voice in a well-crafted story can show your reader the humanity in his enemy—the vulnerability and even the likability.

The mystery of the other side of the story. Possibly the most fun was the switching of views within the same story, a method several of the Voice Writers used to create suspense. In each character, we got a limited perspective—each one saw things the others didn’t; each one told us something new about the story. We got to piece together the clues to reveal a bigger truth than any one character could see.

Actions speak louder than words. One of the finer points of “Show Don’t Tell” hit home for me last week, too. When all was said and done, one of the most powerful illustrations of character was not the words they chose but the actions they used to respond to others. Giving a hot drink to a homeless man, or ignoring him. Locking a door and drowning out what’s on the other side, or taking a deep breath and opening it.

The Internet is the greatest invention since before sliced bread! Twenty years ago we couldn’t do this. Most of us, lacking the support of a writing community (not just here at BeKindRewrite, but all over the social media sphere) probably would’ve died out as writers by now. We would’ve given it up as a silly hobby nobody else cared about. And something precious and beautiful and potentially world-changing would have been thrown away. The Internet connects us across continents and oceans and helps us learn, inspire, and grow together.

So I want to thank each and every one of you for making this week so incredible. I may have gotten it started–but it was you guys who made it happen. Again and again I was blown away by your talent. I don’t think most of you realize just how talented you are. Every one of you contributed something unique and worthwhile. Every comment was encouraging, useful, insightful or all three.

I wish I could send you all books in the mail, but two’s the limit for now! The first random number is 12 – which is R.L.W. over at SnippetsAndScraps. I’ve sent you an email to get your mailing address and choice of prize!

What was your favorite part of Voice Week? Shall we do it again next year?

Inspiration Monday: the fault in our stars

This InMon is important for several reasons. First, it is my birthday. Second, it is International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Third, and most importantly–it’s only one week till Voice Week!  Leave a comment if you want to join in or if you have questions. Participants: Visit the Voice Week homepage to make sure your name is on the Voice Writers list, and if it’s not, leave a comment and I’ll add you.

FOURTH – and this is important too – because of Voice Week, InMon will be postponed until October 10, which means you have three weeks to turn these prompts into gold, instead of just one.

Now check out what happened last week!

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How to put writing talent to work in the “real world”

 Nobody writes their first novel and suddenly hits it big. Well, almost nobody. Most of us need some way to pay for peanut butter and Spaghetti-O’s while we’re shopping for literary agents. 

The good news? All this novel-writing experience can be used towards something other than novel-writing.

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Inspiration Monday: don’t run

This week, I noticed that I have a disturbing new habit of sticking apostrophes where they don’t belong, on plural word’s. <like that! ME! I usually notice and fix it before anyone else reads it, but it frightens me nonetheless because I have never done that before. Am I losing my mind???

Don’t answer that.

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