Voice Week 2012: Wednesday

Third voice for the prompt “rained out picnic.”

"Today my voice is ______."

Despite many earnest supplications sent heavenward, the weather banished any hope of their having the picnic. Dingy clouds ruffled the sky upon the bleak sunrise, bellowing grumbles tickled the hills at mid-morning  and by noon the whole countryside was dowsed in water and broken hearts. Consequently, large drops fell inside the house as well as out. She sat at the window sniffling, feeling rather betrayed. For though the Lord had promised Noah He would never again destroy the whole earth with rain, her world seemed wholly ruined.

What type of story does this feel like to you? When does it take place? Tell me in the comments!

Check out the Voice Week homepage for links to everyone’s voices.

Voice Week 2012: Tuesday

Second voice for the prompt “rained out picnic.”

"Today my voice is ______."

She wist not what howling winds and dank rains

The heavens might let fall that merry day,

So kneeling her down before the window,

Begged Saint Medard sunshine for the morrow.

But when the morrow did come and the birds

With their joyful singing should have waked her,

She woke instead to drumming from the skies

On the roof, and then on sleeve from her eyes.

What type of story does this feel like to you? When does it take place? Tell me in the comments!

Check out the Voice Week homepage for links to everyone’s voices.

Voice Week 2012: Monday

So it begins! I’m experimenting with third person voices this year, using “rained out picnic” as a prompt.

"Today my voice is ______."

In those days, men were corrupt, and rejoiced in their wickedness and reveled in violence. And as they were carousing in the field, there was a loud noise, and the sky grew dark. They were frightened, for they had never heard or seen such things. But some said that the gods were angry, and they began to search among them for a sacrifice. They seized a woman. But she took her knife and thrust it into the side of one of those who was trying to bind her. And the skies opened and water poured down. 

What type of story does this feel like to you? When does it take place? Tell me in the comments!

Check out the Voice Week homepage for links to everyone’s voices.

Voice Week starts Monday – here’s some stuff you need to know

Inspiration Monday Postponed

InMon will be postponed during Voice Week. This means you’ll have two whole weeks to write InMon pieces from the prompts I posted on September 24 before I post more prompts on October 8.

 

Voices Linked Daily

Every day, I’ll visit the blogs of the Voice Writers to read, comment and link to their pieces. I’ll reblog all the pieces on the Voice Week site, so you can go there for links to all of them!

 

…But Maybe Not Thursday

Uh. Yeah. My sister is getting married on Thursday, so I’ll be a little busy ALL DAY. And I’m not sure about Wednesday, either. If I’m lucky, I’ll get to read and link voices late that day, but it’ll more likely be Friday.

I Won’t Notice If You’re Late

We live in several different time zones. If you miss a midnight deadline, I will assume you’re on time in your time zone. In fact, I’ll probably still be linking well into Saturday. So don’t worry about it; just post when you can!

 

But what if…

Not sure you wrote exactly what I’m looking for? That’s okay. Last year, everyone interpreted the challenge a little differently, and it turned out awesome! The important thing is that we all learn from each other. I guarantee we will.

If You Aren’t Writing for Voice Week

We still need you! Visit the Voice Writers, read and comment on their voices!

Questions?

Ask me in the comments or at bekindrewrite (at) yahoo.com

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I’m confused.

Check out the rules

See answers to frequently asked questions

 

I need examples. How did Voice Week go last year?

Read last year’s voices

Read my summary post

 

I can’t wait to get started!

Still time to join in! Comment below, and…

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What Happened to George Lucas?

 

babies dressed as princess leia and obi wan

Image by Steve Winton

Jar Jar Binks did not ruin Star Wars.

Actually, I found Jar Jar amusing. But there’s a reason I put it on my “If I Ever Get Filthy Rich” to-do list to buy the rights to Star Wars so I can completely remake the prequels:

George Lucas ruined Star Wars.

Now, let’s not harp on the guy. He obviously didn’t mean to ruin Star Wars. So what went wrong?

And how do the rest of us avoid doing the same thing?

Obviously, the specific errors are too many to list – from the overuse of CGI to the nonsensical plot – but it all boils down to two general problems:

  1. He knew the originals were good, but he didn’t know why.
  2. Rather than taking the time to figure out why, he opted to start making money NOW through the prequels.

The meat was what made Star Wars great—the characters; the story. Lucas didn’t take the time to understand either of those things. Maybe he was lazy, or impatient, or afraid to fall whilst leaping for greatness. But all he managed to do was copy the occasional catchphrase and the droids’ comic relief, and set up a few scenes to mirror scenes in the originals (whether or not it made plot sense). But all these things are just accessories—they make the story better only when the story is already good. When the story isn’t good, they just aggravate the gag reflex.

Here are the major character errors Lucas committed. If he had taken the time to understand and develop the characters, the plot would have formed itself.

No clear protagonist

Who is the hero of the new trilogy? You know, the Average Joe to whom all the weird stuff is explained (and thus explained to us); the guy we like and root for?

  • Is it Anakin? But we don’t even meet him until 32 minutes into the first movie (which itself is only two hours and change). And even then, he doesn’t know what’s going on until movie two.
  • Is it Obi Wan? He’s on screen a lot, but we don’t get an inside look at his motives or emotions.

Our lesson: Know who your hero is. Introduce him early. Ensure he is likeable.

Role reversals

  • Movie one: Master Qui Gon recklessly gambles with someone else’s ship, while his young apprentice, Obi Wan, sits by wisely questioning his choices.
  • Movie two: Obi Wan switches to the reckless master position: after telling Anakin to think before he acts, Obi Wan promptly crashes through a window to grab onto an assassin droid that really doesn’t look like it can support his weight – and Anakin’s the one to rescue him.
  • Amidala resists a romantic relationship just because she’s in politics, while Anakin, who’s been brainwashed to reject romance for the last ten years of his life, is hitting on her from the very first moment
  • And why does she show all that skin if she wants to keep things professional?

Our lesson: Make a list of the major actions in your story, who performs those actions, and what their motives were. Does it make sense, or do you need to swap some things around?

No personalities

The original trilogy abounded in distinct personalities.

  • Luke Skywalker: sheltered, idealistic, brave.
  • Han Solo: roguish, jaded, heart of gold.
  • Princess Leia: smart, stubborn, caring.

The new trilogy, however…

  • Anakin Skywalker: uh…whiny, homicidal, stalker-ish?
  • Obi Wan Kenobi: doesn’t seem to know who he is (see above).
  • Queen/Senator Amidala: uh. Nondescript?

Our lesson: Can you describe your main characters without mentioning their appearance or occupation? If not, you’ve got work to do.

Shallow romance

Why do Anakin and Amidala fall in love? Aside from the fact that they are both good looking, and they get shot at together a couple times, there is no foundation for Amidala telling Anakin “I truly, deeply, love you.” I mean, Amidala’s been dealing with galactic politics since she was 14—why is she attracted to this kid who complains about his teachers being too strict?

Our lesson: If your story includes romance, ask yourself what, particularly, makes those two characters suited to each other? Find something in their personalities that’s complementary.

Contradicting ideals

Lucas contradicts not only the facts of the story (for instance, according to the original trilogy, Anakin never knew Amidala was pregnant), but the ideals. We go from Yoda telling Luke that “War does not make one great” to Obi Wan telling Anakin of his lightsaber that “This weapon is your life.”

Our lesson: Know what ideals your characters hold, and check that their actions and dialogue match those ideals.

What bothered you the most about the new Star Wars trilogy? What did you like about it?

NOTE: I owe many of the points in this post to Red Letter Media’s Star Wars reviews, which are horribly inappropriate—but annoyingly insightful.