The plot thickens all over the blogosphere with Day Two of Voice Week! It’s fascinating watching everyone’s different interpretations of their characters, and of the project itself. I am so impressed with the talent out there, I could just kiss my computer screen. In case any of y’all missed it, read some quick notes on late postings and pingbacks here.
Here’s my second piece (under 100 this time):
My mamma ain’t much of one. Don’t read us stories, don’t make us dinner, don’t get us dressed in the morning. Heck, she don’t even get herself dressed in the morning. Just wears the same trashy tank and shorts ever’ day, hair all done up in knots, knocking it back. Beer, wine, whiskey, vodka. Anything you need ID to buy. Lays out on the couch or leans up against the stove in the kitchen, tilting her head back and just glugging it down like there ain’t no tomorrow. Sometimes I think maybe there ain’t. But there always is.
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From the prompt “alcoholic mother.” Read the other versions: Day 1, Day 3, Day 4, Day 5
Who does the character feel like to you? How old, what gender? Where did you think the voice was strong or weak? Let me know!
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🙂
This definitely sounds like a young boy to me…young enough to feel scared about his mother’s behavior – old enough to call a spade a spade. I thought this was a strong piece –
Good analysis. I’m not sure of his age, but I was definitely picturing a boy when I wrote it. Thank you!
Oh goodness! What a voice!
This one I definitely picture to be a male; it makes me think he’s older than the last sibling, someone who has seen more of the world (and doesn’t see much to like about it), and so has much less sympathy for his “mamma”.
Loved it! 🙂
Good catch with the sympathy!
Thanks for reading. : )
Thirteen of fourteen years old. Male. Probably steals his momma’s booze too!
He’s obviously sick and tired of her behaviour, but not yet of an age to say it to her directly. I love your ‘anything you need an ID to buy’ line. Brilliant,
You have created another strong voice. The laid back feel just oozes the desire to be cool, but the subject matter reaveals anger and angst; even regret. Fantastic writing.
Wow, I didn’t think of him stealing the booze sometimes, but yeah – that does sound like something he’d do. I didn’t think about him trying to be cool, either, but that’s definitely in there. Now the anger – that was intentional!
Thanks you!!!
Great voice! I’d say it’s a boy older than his age by experience who’s sick of his mother’s attitude
Older by experience–good way to put it! Thanks. : )
This line “Sometimes I think maybe there ain’t.” is absolutely perfect!
Thanks! I liked it too.
I’m with Scribbla on this one, only I think he’s maybe a 10/11year old lad, younger brother to the sister in Voice 1. Unlike his sister he can’t wait to get out. To him mum is a waste of space. He’s street wise enough to know about ID and what his mum is doing, probably because she’s being doing it most of his life. There’s a real feeling of hopelessness, when he talks about there being no tomorrow and then that final line, “But there always is.” comes across as almost a let down – he wakes up each day and things are still the same.
Another great read. Looking forward to tomorrow.
Yes! You hit the nail on the head for the ending. That was exactly what I was going for – I’m glad I got it across.
12-13, didn’t get a feeling it was either male or female.
Both Monday and Tuesday are observers–they make associations and deductions from actions and visuals, not from participating in the same feelings.
Enjoyed the nuances, Robin
Oooh. That’s an interesting analysis – not from participating in the same feelings. Yes. Neither one really relates to her.
I think this is the younger brother. He is street wise probably hangs out with a more menacing crowd but is not really menacing himself just joins in to escape home. He holds his mother’s decisions in contempt because he is actually longing for her to be a mom. “Don’t read us stories, don’t make us dinner, don’t get us dressed in the morning.” He is not only angry about that but he is sad about it.
Who he hangs out with is a smart insight. I hadn’t thought it out that far, but you’re right. Right all around!
This voice seems to be younger. It has more attitude, more of an accent in his speech. Actually, it feels more like a “she” to me. Most men I know will say “mom,” not “mamma,” and they don’t focus on hair or quality of clothes. So it sounds like a young girl in her low teens to me. She does sound wise, like her skin’s grown thick and she copes with her situation. Have you ever watched the TV show “True Blood”? This voice reminds me of Rutina Wesley’s character, Tara.
Good point with “mama” and noticing the clothes. I did intend to write this from the male perspective though – I think by a certain age he’d start to be embarrassed by the way she looks. But if I turn it around and re-read it in a female voice – yeah, that works too. She’d be tough – thick skin, just like you’ve said.
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I’m kind of torn on this one. Not getting them dressed in the morning leans young, but would that age be aware of the difference between the alcoholic beverages, and IDs? The last sentence or two seems older.
Good point! Age is somewhere in the middle, I suppose (I never did settle on an exact number for this one).
“But there always is”…sounds like he regrets that fact 🙁 great post!
That’s what I was going for!
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