The second most important sentence in your book

Copywriting (my day job) will never be as rewarding as fiction writing, but they share some similarities in craft. For example, the headline.

“Headline” doesn’t just refer to the large type on the front of a newspaper; it can mean the main line of text on any ad, billboard, webpage, or whatever. I probably spend more time writing headlines than anything else, mainly because they’re difficult. I can easily write a paragraph in fifteen minutes, but I might take hours to find the right headline for one ad. Why?

Lacking a striking image, the headline is the most important part of the ad. It must capture the attention of the audience and compel them to read the rest of the ad. It’s not enough to be well-written. Good writing by itself is not compelling. The same applies to the first sentence of your book.*

The first sentence of your book is the make-or-break moment for many readers, when they choose to keep reading, or to put it down forever.

So, a few pointers:

  • If you haven’t spent more time on your first sentence than on any other sentence in your book, you’re doing it wrong.
  • Scenic description, no matter how poetic, isn’t compelling.
  • Fight or chase scenes, no matter how action-packed, aren’t compelling if you don’t know anything about the characters involved.
  • What is compelling? It’s hard to put a finger on it, but it is usually weird, surprising, insightful, contradictory, or witty.

Examples!

In the fading afternoon light, the helicopter skimmed low along the coast, following the line where the dense jungle met the beach.

               –The Lost World, Michael Crichton

She seemed to float above the ghostly evening mist like a menacing beast rising from the primeval ooze.

               –Sahara, Clive Cussler

Eragon knelt in a bed of trampled reed grass and scanned the tracks with a practiced eye.

               –Eragon, Christopher Paolini

There was no possibility of taking a walk that day.

                –Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte

Those all sound quite nice. But compare them to the following:

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.

               –Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell

All my life, I’ve wanted to go to Earth.

               –Podkayne of Mars, Robert A. Heinlein

The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there.

               –The Go Between, L.P. Hartley

This is my favorite book in all the world, though I have never read it.

               -William Goldman on The Princess Bride, by S. Morgenstern.

There was a boy named Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it.

               –The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, C.S. Lewis

Which ones make you want to keep reading? How does your first sentence measure up?

*I call the first sentence in a book the second most important sentence because in keeping with the philosophy that we owe our readers satisfactory closure, the last sentence of the book is actually the most important. But I digress.

Inspiration Monday…uh…IX

Brilliant work again this past week, and one or two new faces! Be sure to read and comment! Rewriters, don’t forget to pingback, and don’t worry if I don’t respond right away. I might not get the chance to read up ’til Friday or Saturday, though I try to approve pingbacks daily. Thanks for bearing with me. : )

Marantha

Drew

Kay

Patti

Sonia

Mike and two and three

Otakufool

Char

Carl and two

Spewit

Debra

Jinx

EDIT: I missed Rashmi’s awesome piece! and Indigo Spider’s, too!

The Rules

There are none. Read the prompts, get inspired, write something. No word count minimum or maximum. You don’t have to include the exact prompt in your piece, and you can interpret the prompt(s) any way you like.

OR

No really; I need rules!

Okay; write 200-500 words on the prompt of your choice. You may either use the prompt as the title of your piece or work it into the body of your piece. You must complete it before6 pm CSTon the Monday following this post.

The Prompts:

The exits of the world*

You don’t think of it as murder

Postcard from hell

In a better place

Life in a box

If you want to share your Inspiration Monday piece, post it on your blog and link back to today’s post; I’ll include a link to your piece in the next Inspiration Monday post. No blog? Email your piece to me at stephanie (at) balcomagency (dot) com.

Happy writing!

*Today’s first prompt brought to you by the original Trock band, Chameleon Circuit, from their song, Exterminate Regenerate.

NOTE: It occurs to me that all the prompts this week seem to be about death. This was not intentional. Please feel free to interpret them differently!

Why do we care about stories?

I walked in the door to find my neighbor tearing pages out of a paperback and throwing them on the floor.

Naturally, I was curious.

She was angry about the ending, about the decision the hero had made, which went against the moral framework that the author had been building throughout the story. Although I don’t think I could ever tear pages out of a book (it seems almost sacrilegious), I could relate with her rage.

And it got me thinking recently – why do fictional works draw such powerful emotions from us? Sad endings make us weep, happy endings make us walk around with grins on our faces, and wrong endings make us furious.

So why do we care so much about stories that never really happened, and people who never actually existed? Do we forget for a moment that they’re not real, or is it something else, something deeper?

I think it is. We are born with an innate sense of justice, both moral and poetic. Even small children know when a story ends the wrong way. The hero is supposed to defeat the villain and live happily ever after. (Those who prefer unhappy endings usually do so only because tragedy seems more realistic, not because they think tragedy is right.)

There’s a saying that “all stories are true – and some of them actually happened.” I believe this, but I would add a disclaimer: not all storytellers get it right. All stories are true because they are a reflection of an ultimate truth – the same truth we are born knowing. Right and Wrong. The anger readers have toward writers who get it Wrong is the same anger we humans have toward God when bad things happen to good people: If you’re in control, why can’t you get it right?

There are a couple of funny things about this. First, the author (often without even realizing it) determines the Right way to end a story in the way he writes the beginning and middle. He sets up the context that makes one decision Right and another Wrong. The difference between good stories and bad ones lies in whether or not the author follows those Right guidelines within the context he has created. Sometimes he doesn’t – he lets his own prejudices get in the way, while his readers, who have an outside perspective, recoil from the flaw as if it hurt them personally.

Second, the ending determines it all. The best stories have the worst injustices in the beginning and middle. But when, in the end, all is made Right – villains get their comeuppance or make amends, heroes overcome all obstacles and so on – it’s all worth it. Because we need to see how something as dark, or darker than, our own lives can turn out good in the end. It gives us hope for reality.

As to reality, well. It wouldn’t be fair to judge the author before we knew the ending.

Farewell Tuesday

Dear Rewriters,

In the interest of time management – such as getting more than six hours of sleep and posting Inspiration Monday prompts before the clock turns around to Tuesday – I have decided to cut Tuesday posts until further notice. I hope to be able to start them up again in the future, but in the meantime it should give me more time to: 1. Sleep; 2. Work on my book; 3. Get the Super Secret Project going.

InMon and Friday posts will go on as usual, so there’s no need to –

Wait. Super Secret Project?!?!?

Yes, yes. I can’t unveil anything yet (and don’t know when I will), because I haven’t got all the kinks worked out yet, but here are a few teaser clues:

I’ve been planning this since the institution of InMon, almost three whole months ago!

I want all of you to be involved

It will be a week-long event

There will be graphics! And a doorprize! And you don’t even have to leave the comfort of your own home!

I’ve said too much already.

shhhhhhhhhhh

 

Inspiration Monday VIII

The work was so brilliant this past week it was almost too much for me. I pity you if you don’t click on all these names.

Jinx and two and three

Drew and two

Screen Scribbla

Otakufool and two

Mike’s shorts, Mike’s dialogue, and one more Mike, plus one

Sonia

Carl

Kay

Indigo Spider and two

Debra

Rashmi

Patti

Char

Anybody I missed, shoot me a comment!

EDIT: Missed Jenna

The Rules

There are none. Read the prompts, get inspired, write something. No word count minimum or maximum. You don’t have to include the exact prompt in your piece, and you can interpret the prompt(s) any way you like.

OR

No really; I need rules!

Okay; write 200-500 words on the prompt of your choice. You may either use the prompt as the title of your piece or work it into the body of your piece. You must complete it before6 pm CSTon the Monday following this post.

The Prompts:

Before the earth was round*

Thinking is the best way to travel*

I used to be someone else

His revenge was different than I expected

A cat in a dog park

If you want to share your Inspiration Monday piece, post it on your blog and link back to today’s post; I’ll include a link to your piece in the next Inspiration Monday post. No blog? Email your piece to me at stephanie (at) balcomagency (dot) com.

Happy writing!

Today’s first and second prompts brought to you by OK Go (Of the Blue Colour of the Sky) and The Moody Blues (In Search of the Lost Chord), respectively.